i don't know whether today is happier day or a sad day, but whatever, i think i was happy AND sad today.
which is, good. i think. haha well at least i wasn't completely sad.
i think i'm pretty emo now, though i sound happy. AHHHH. contradict.
well i feel like blogging about my emotions but i think i've had enough of that already so yea, i shall try not to.
went out with, bravesouls, kinda, just now. BBF came like really late and caleb was there today too. was at coffeebean and i wrote eileen and chewy's letter! (:
serena wrote my letter already, and so i promised to reply on wednesday! that's if if she passes the letter to me on tuesday. (:
haha i miss writing letters. i think from now on i shall make sure that my life isn't as fast paced as before. i think writing letters take time and effort and so like there's more sincerity ok i feel like as if i'm answering an oral question so i shall stop right now.
i hope oral lesson with qi will work out cause i really need help with oral now. esp after listening to qi about how he has already started preparing since last week at like 1hr per day and so far until now i have only attempted one question with my tutor so i'm like so damn screwed.
i feel like i'm blabbering and i really wanna stop but i don't feel like stopping so i'm going to just type whatever that's coming out my my head/mouth/fingers.
ok the emo-er part of me is arising although i feel quite hyper now i don't know why.
have decided, going to barker funfair tmrw with chantalamadeajedi cause like even if i go to homecoming BBF's not going and i'm going to miss their performance anyway and like after that they've tapestry and so. i don't know. like quite weird. and suddenly i'm not so interested in the gossips about others like their girlfs and all that. ok a part of me doesn't actually feel like going barker fair and a HUGE part of me just wants to stay home cause going out makes me feel like shiatz.
like just now i drank vanillaaa and after that i felt kinda unwell. went around smelling food and everything is like my stomach is yelling HUNGRY! yet at the same time i still have that puke feeling which sucks alot so in the end all that i ate today was like milo a piece of bread a few strands of spag and 1chicken cube. and 2 mint sweets.
you make me feel like i'm so damn useless.
ok i think i'm weird. just today.
4:41 PM
& so i fell asleep again, and woke up feeling tired. my head's like twice it's size. and my body's feeling num.
):
it's 4:43pm and i'm going out, i think. should i? i'm feeling really crappy now, and the sun's so damn hot. i think i'm going to carry an umbrella. hahahahaha.
even though i spent my entire day (so far) at home, interesting things still do happen.
heard from others that mstan wasn't very happy today, went mad and made them do reflections when she's not going to look at them. !? it's been a long time since i was affected by her moodswings.
(: i'm quite lucky.
and mschua called me at 1250+ saying that f&n remedial is canceled and she thought that i was in school. haha if i were in school then how could i've picked up her phone?! then i was like huh but i'm not in school then how to inform the others. so she said call them.
?!
errr, i think they should've received my msg. i have completely no other ways to reach them.
well i think i'd better get going before i'm very very late again.
i think my mum's going to kill me if she knows that i'm going out when the weather's so bad.
1:03 PM
As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
11:58 AM
haha i can't believe i woke up at 11.48. wonder what's everyone doing in school now. i hope i won't miss out on too much. ):
i just ate breakfast, & i think i'm gonna puke again. =/
i still want to go out with brave souls tonight! i hope i get better soon.
and there are so many things going on tomorrow i want to go out!
there's like rockclimbing and many OAIs are going, then there's cat high homecoming and barker's funfair. (i just realise that i didn't give my replies...) yet at the same time i have tuition and ballet which means that i probably can't go for any. BUT i'm sick so i'm probably gonna stay home unless i feel better.
ohmy.
and i sick of sleeping and i've nothing to do!
& so i shall go online shopping again, since i already have in mind what i'm going to buy.
=D
12:17 AM
i'm serious.
i'm going to puke everything out soon. i can feel it coming up my throat.
& i'm sad how everyone don't believe me. ):
random: BBF you should've come visit me today actually. just that maybe you'll get sick too.
Thursday, June 28
10:27 PM
When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne
I always needed time on my own I never thought I'd need you there when I cry And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too When you're gone All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day And make it OK I miss you
I've never felt this way before Everything that I do Reminds me of you And the clothes you left they lie on my floor And they smell just like you I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too And when you're gone The words I need to hear to always get me through the day And make it OK I miss you
We were made for each other Out here forever I know we were Yeah Yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know Everything I do I give my heart and soul I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me Yeah
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too When you're gone The words I need to hear will always get me through the day And make it OK I miss you
9:57 PM
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
i'm really sick now & i'm sad. ):
went home after recess today, wasn't feeling THAT bad yet. but now i feel like i'm dying. ohwell, as usual.
and i think it's because i was too upset yesterday!
so i discarded my policy about how being happy will cure me more than medicines cause i'm not very happy so i ate medicines but it's like gross and yucky and doesn't seem to be doing much either.
anw today's recess i ate waffles. didn't microwave them though. ): AND something interesting! for the youth mentorship programme, some act3 international thingy, we're gonna learn to either walk on stilts or wave the big flags!
ahahha. so cool manx. i wanna walk on stilts, and be tall! i think that's so cool.
see, i've something to look forward to now! (: i hope i won't be disappointed.
my dad's friend kinda sent me back today, together with my dad of course. he's quite scary, i don't like. we drove out cp way when i forgot that my dad has to sign out for me, so my dad told him to go out and turn back. instead he just drove back from cp, which is like one-way be apparently he doesn't really care.
the good thing is that there's no cars there so it isn't that bad.
went to see a doctor and came home. i was supposed to have burgers for lunch today you know! and instead i end up eating plain porridge with the nice nice veggie that i always eat when i'm sick. sigh. i want my healthy lettuce meat patty burger!
slept for a really long time and i woke up feeling as if i haven't slept yet. my whole body was aching and i felt like shit. tried to study bio but my mind was like blank. super stoned. replied xinyun's (my as!) letter and started to do bio notes. was quite accomplished, but looking at all the notes i wonder how i'm going to swallow it and vomit it again during the test.
was supposed to go to school tomorrow but i'm feeling too weak to go. and i'm afraid that i won't be able to concentrate during the test.
this is NOT ponning school ok! so i've kept to my resolution, four days and counting. haha must remember to tell zhenna this. merilyn if you happen to see this tell her ok! ):
haha i think i think too much but i've like many mosquito bites now i hope i don't have dengue.
(oh no my bro just sneezed. is he sick too?)
anw yeap. the runny nose and cough is gone but i still think i'm going to puke soon. and that feeling is terrible.
still had to go for chinese tuition just now and it's so weird! i had to go under some block cause i've combine lesson with this other guy who has oral tmrw.
was telling merilyn how i hope he'll be hot cause in my entire 14years+ i've only considered 3guys as hot and the sad part is that all 3 are strangers. and one of them is half hot cause he was wearing shades and i couldn't see his eyes. 1 of them was with his girlf when i saw him and the other. ohmy i can't remember.
haha people should be honoured if i consider them hot manxz.
watching the hills on mtv now. and falling alseep.
sighsigh, no school for me.
and i'm glad that cip is confirmed. it's like one thing off the list. next to complete is contact list, then maybe dance jacket? ohno, concert. i don't know if i'm able to really plan one out cause i think i'll screw up everything.
ok i'm dying soon. byebye.
partner i'm so sorry i'm not going tmrw! ): do miss me!
Wednesday, June 27
10:26 PM
And I can't deal with that. I try to see the good in life, But good things in life are hard to find. We'll blow it away, blow it away. Can we make this something good? Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.
10:18 PM
Now Playing: Jet- Look What You've Done.
there's just something about this song that makes me feel all so sad. and somehow they just want to make me sad by randomly playing it.
10:15 PM
i only i could scream so damn loud how much i hate myself. & how much i want ____ to be here now.
9:55 PM
SEEE SEEEE SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Your Depression Level: 48%
You seem to have mild depression. A lot of people fall into your range, and it's quite possible you don't need treatment. If you've been feeling this way for a while, you may want to seek help.
You have low social anxiety. Of course very unfamiliar or strange situations make you uncomfortable. But you can pull through and handle almost any social occasion with grace.
Calm and understated, you struggle to express your love with words. Over time, your partner learns to recognize your passion by the actions you take. You're good at wooing someone slowly, without them even realizing it!
Number of True Loves You'll Have: 5
Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 1
You are most compatible with people born on the 7th, 16th, and 25th of the month.
hey there delilah whats it like in new york city im a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty yes you do time square cant shine as bright as you i swear its true
hey there delilah dont you worry about the distance im right there if you get lonely give this song another listen close your eyes listen to my voice its my disguise im by your side
oh its what you do to me oh its what you do to me oh its what you do to me oh its what you do to me what you do to me
hey there delilah i know times are gettin hard but just believe me girl someday ill pay the bills with this guitar we'll have it good we'll have the life we knew we would my word is good
hey there delilah ive got so much left to say if every simple song i wrote to you would take your breath away id write it all even more in love with me youd fall we'd have it all
oh its what you do to me oh its what you do to me oh its what you do to me oh its what you do to me
a thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got planes and trains and cars id walk to you if i had no other way our friends would all make fun of us and we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way delilah i can promise you that by the time that we get through the world will never ever be the same and youre to blame
hey there delilah you be good and dont you miss me two more years and youll be done with school and ill be makin history like i do you know its all because of you we can do whatever we want to hey there delilah heres to you this ones for you
oh its what you do to me oh its what you do to me oh its what you do to me oh its what you do to me what you do to me
9:19 PM
whoever's reading this should just stop. all that i'm blogging is so nyeh i can't be bothered to read myself. haha i think no one's reading anw.
ok i guess i've to admit i'm pretty much of an emokid92@hotmail.com
nope no skinny jeans/heavy eyeliner/undersized tees for emo wordings for me, but still quite also.
went out to study/chat with BBF just now and at my house downstairs before i came up i was like saying that i'm pretty sure that i'll sign into blogger and start venting all my frustrations.
apparently there ARE that many things for me to nyeh about.
haha i'm having mood flunctuations.
suddenly feel like laughing, then feel like crying again.
you know, i can't stand myself when i'm like that, but still.
trying very hard to make myself happy now, getting quite sick & tired of it. maybe i'm gonna like forget about it. hahh it's quite impossible though.
someone make me happier? sigh. chris please do your job as my boyf please? so nyeh luhh. everyday sit in class do nothing.
hahahahaha.
i really want to watch nancy drew. is anyone interested? ask me ask me! (they say it's a family film though.)
& i need people who are very strict when it comes to studying. i'm so floaty nowadays i float away whenever i study.
coffeebean isn't the best place to study anymore. can you believe it it's my third time today that i got really sick of vanillaaa. sigh, overdose.
i enjoy people watching alot nowadays it's affecting my studies and that's really bad. like to sit outside coffeebean (no aircon) & watch people walking to the mrt station. haha so weird luhh.
can't wait for all these sickening tests to be over. then at least i can people watch with ease. don't have to care about what shit questions there are waiting for me to solve.
amath & chem tmrw. one of these are enough to kill me. tried to study, but i just couldn't get myself to. too many rubbish and unimportant stuffs are weighing me down. HOW?!
i want to throw them far far away. & never see them again.
i like to go to school, cause i'm happy there. i like to give random, no link answers during ss/geog lesson. i like to give super duper long answers. i like to laugh at my self created jokes. i like to microwave my lunchbox. i like to be unglam in class. i like to nyeh around partner. i like to lie on partner's shoulder whenever i feel like it. i like to sing all the songs with 3P.
ok i shall stop.
shutup korwoong.
2:38 PM
being quite retarded now.
my tutor overslept so i'm gonna spend my time blogging till he comes over.
shall blog about happier things like recess today! (:
dona cooked fish and cream pasta for me today! and jedi and merilyn. and i brought it to school with my very cute melody lunchbox. =D
i love how i'm allowed to use the microwave oven. it makes me cold food nice and warm! the food was really nice!
but actually jedi's black pepper beef was MUCH nicer! we had that on monday after school while doing our homework. it was so nice and hot and everything. AHHHHH. i can still smell it.
gonna cook some stuff for haoyee tmrw since i promised her to. and i'm bringing caroline's blanket/pillow cinnamonroll tmrw too! i hope this will make their day. (:
i like singing songs with haoyee. haven't been listening to chinese music recently so she's probably my other source other than my mp3.
& i also love time spent with her. really. BUT. she everyday singa singa me.
gosh i can't believe mstan's seriously about sending me in for the friendly singa thing. do i look very friendly to you?!
):
i said that i don't want it but she said i didn't have the choice! ):
i'm not THAT considerate and THAT courtous and THAT polite. right?! so there's simply no reason why she should send me in!
sheeeesh. i'm gonna disappoint her manx. she thinks too highly of me. ):
keeping to my new resoultion. 3rd day of school already, no symptoms of ponning school. =D that's very good. i shall keep it up!
i think my mum understands that when i skip school i study myself at home and that's why she's not very bothered also.
=D love her.
2:30 PM
read thru what i just posted and decided to add a few more stuffs.
well though my life has been sucky, i thought for quite abit and realise that at least i know who are the ones that i really love & will be there for me.
the list is pretty short. very short. it's after much consideration. haha.
indeed life has been pretty sad, but time spent in school is pretty alright. concentrating more and more during lessons and that seems to help me forget about everything else that has been on my mind.
and i make jokes and laugh at it. =/
maybe that makes me a little happier.
don't know why i've been feeling so down recently. was telling wp before the hols ended that i've been emo for a really long time and it seems like i can't get back into my happier mood.
that's why studies are priority now. (:
maybe not over family, maybe over. i don't know.
i nyeh-ed my mum yesterday night cause i wasn't feeling very happy. don't know why i did that but i was glad she understood and just left me alone.
so i spent the night stoning in the dark listening to not so happy but not very emo songs till i finally fall asleep.
sigh.
better get back to studying. i don't wish to fail all these sickening tests.
i look forward to nothing but.. nothing.
2:23 PM
INSECURITIES ALERT!
just read BBF's blog & i completely can't figure out who those 5 people are! and what's more i hope i'm not one of them luhh.
i HATE that insignificant word. i really do. ever since that night when they told me i always make people feel insignificant without actually realising it i've been hating it ever since.
trying to at least make people feel like i've actually acknowledged what they've done for me but, I DON'T KNOW HOW.
i do feel it you know! i'm not emotionless, i do feel it when people are being nice to me and appreciate it ALOT. just that sometimes i don't say it out. or rather, ALOT of times i don't say it out.
shouldn't it be like mutual understanding? ok maybe not.
there are alot of people in my life who does alot of things for me and i know who they are. but how am i supposed to tell them that i appreciate it?! i'm not so much of a person who randomly tell others that i appreciate the things that they do. ):
anw life has been pretty sucky for me. have been trying to act like it isn't affecting me but it's been killing me.
but i look happy right?
see, that's the whole point.
(anw BBF this post is not reffering to you. it's just people on general. and you haven't told me if we're studying together later. =/ )
i hope that i'd be happy. not LOOK happy.
Saturday, June 23
11:08 PM
school's reopening tmrw tmrw.
don't know whether to feel happy or sad.
happy cause i do miss 3P alot, & sad cause i don't think i'm ready to face teachers & tests.
i just hope i don't fail everything.
completed most of my homework if i'm not wrong, not very sure of what homework there is actually. =/
hmmmm, ballet was kinda good today. i had nice double turns! =DDD
went shopping and bought quite a few stuffs. catch of the day was a snuggly knit hoodie from lasenza! it was 50% sale.
i like sales. (:
wonder when's the next time i'll go shop again. i hope it won't be too long. but i think i won't be that busy anymore. like all the highlights of the year's over.
i wonder what i'll do after school this term. stone?
i want study dates! or even better, study groups. (: anyone interested?
might be meeting brave souls for the last time before school reopens tmrw. i wonder what's gonna happen to us.
today's a happy day, emo thoughts are not welcomed.
have been too emo for too long already. sorry guys, for having to put up with me. many times i feel myself being very nyeh just that i don't feel like doing anything about it.
ohwell. i think i ended my day happily. i even smiled to myself just now.
i was so determined yesterday during study camp, did quite abit of stuffs but finally couldn't take it anymore and went to sleep at around 4.19am.
haha BBF couldn't sleep too.
felt damn pathetic. the aircon was killer, freezing inside, and i slept on pieces of paper everywhere around me and i had to curl up like a ball cause there was no space. BBF had only a square space, she had to sleep upstraight.
the other two pigs slept on my bed and the floor, and took both my blankets.
couldn't take it anymore, woke up and used a towel to cover myself.
anw i'm really bored now. shopping wasn't sucessful, some things that i wanted to get are in store kind, they don't deliver. ):
it wasn't exactly online shopping, it was more of magazine shopping. whatever, i'm not making sense.
getting the taiwan photos uploaded now, should be able to post them soon (:
3:15 PM
i'm so bored i'm shopping for dancewear online.
=/
i wonder if i'll buy anything.
Thursday, June 21
1:11 AM
ok i didn't study. ):
i hate myself.
spent my time trying to find the cable to upload the pictures from taiwan but the cable didn't like me so it ran away and hid in a corner of the house.
grabbed pictures from many many people instead! (:
hehh. revived my friendster a little little bit. shall use my bro's laptop/desktop to upload now! that nyeh pig, i want a laptop too luhh.
next year! and i don't want my iriver anymore. that lousy poke died on me in taiwan.
12:08 AM
what will your reaction be if i went, hey guys, i'm leaving.
Wednesday, June 20
11:53 PM
Best Person on the Earth (Waiteng) - Adverse Route to Exuberance
Lately, I've been trying to show the world I can be whoever that I wanted to be But baby now, it's never gonna work out Maybe I, was never meant to stand out
I'm gonna try and try again till I fall Then I'm gonna pick myself up And then I'll try and try again and I'll fall But I'm never gonna give up
It's gonna slip away so fast And feel like nothing ever came around And when I look back at the scars I'll wonder how I lived from then till now
I'm gonna try and try again and I'll fall But I'm never gonna give up I try and try again and I fall Still gonna pick myself up
And when it comes around again I'll know how to let it out And then I'll realize that everything Wouldn't come about without a bad trial
I'm gonna try and try again and I'll fall Then I'm gonna pick myself up And then I'll try and try again and I'll fall But I'm never gonna give up
I wanna fly, and have wings And feel the skies just right by my side Learn how to love, and to live Then I'll never be afraid to cry
11:28 PM
i don't know what we just did.
so me and BBF went out to eat icecream like minutes ago and we sat at the chairs outside NTUC. we were supposed to be those uncles that camp there, and we were the only 2 today.
that's like so weird?
kinda tired now, but i've to persevere on and study! school holidays are gonna be over and i'm not done with everything! that's really bad. and i'm sad. was supposed to use this holidays to complete everything, revise and be 101% prepared for the upcoming test! and the entire class doesn't know what's gonna be tested for math?!
sigh.
gonna study till about 3 today again? don't think i'm going for math lesson tmrw, my back is killing me. felt much better after seeing the doctor, but it doesn't seem like it's helping alot.
i've to resort to painkillers, again. have been living on them for a week. this isn't very healthy.
shall blog an extract of the book that i'm currently reading. (i read another book cause it was conveniently on my bed. so the others shall have to wait.)
it's called MY FRIEND LEONARD. a really upsetting story about this guy called james who's a convict with bad records blahblah. ohwell i'm not in the mood for book reviews.
don't exactly know the reason why i'm blogging this out, but i felt that this chapter was really good, somehow. don't favour the vulgarities though.
No no no. Suicide. It is dark and it is cold. No no no. Suicide. I start walking toward my truck. No no no. Suicide. My legs start shaking. Yes, suicide. My chest starts shaking. Yes, suicide. My arms start shaking and my hands are shaking. Yes, suicide. My face is shaking. Yes, suicide. I take a step and my knees buckle. I try to take another, my legs won't support me. I fall, fall to the sidewalk. I try to get up, but I can't, yes suicide. I look around me. I'm on a street I don't know in a city I've been in twice. Yes, suicide. I came here for Lilly and she's dead, hanging in the shower, she's dead. Yes, suicide. She was supposed to wait for me. I told her I would be here she was supposed to wait. Yes, suicide. She hung herself in the shower, I can't believe this is happening. She's dead. She killed herself. I can't believe this is happening. She's dead. I start crying. I sit on the sidewalk and I cry. If feels like there's a hole in my chest, if feels like everything has become a deep dark horrible fucking hole. There are tears, I shake. I lose my breath. There's a hole and I can't get out of it, I can't escape. I'm falling deeper, deeper, deeper. I cry, I can't breathe. I bury my face in my hands i feel tears dripping from my eyes and my nose, streaming across my cheeks, running down my neck. I was coming I got here as fast as I fucking could. She didn't wait for me. She went into the bathroom and she tied a knot a strong knot. I want out of this hole I want out I want to stop crying. She put her neck in a noose she knew I was coming to her she knew what she was doing to herself. She put her beck into a noose. Please please please let me out of this please. She strung herself up. She let herself down. She lost the ability to breathe. No, I can't believe this is happening, no. She put her neck in the noose ans she hung herself and she couldn't breathe and she didn't stop. Why didn't she fucking stop. I came here to help her I came here to give her everything. She hung herself. I can't stop crying I want to stop crying I can't stop. Hang, my beautiful Lily, hang. I would have done anything for you. Hang my beautiful Lily, hang. Let me out of this fucking nightmare please let me wake up, let me wake the fuck up. She stopped breathing. I'm not waking up. She stopped seeing thinking feeling she stopped breathing. I can't get out. She hung herself and she's dead. She hung herself and she's dead.
why do i have this feeling that alot of people have already read this book? but anw, i think i do like it quite abit.
(:
i think it's funny how much life can suck. esp when you wake up telling yourself, yea man today's gonna be a better day, to realise at the end how much it sucked. so you go to sleep saying, yea man tmrw's gonna be a better day. you wake up in the morning feeling great, and then you end the day with a. it's ok. i still have certain happy incidents today.
life has been pretty much like that for my recently, excluding the wonderful time that i spent in taiwan with my family.
the sad thing is, once we're back here, we're back to normal. you face back the same problems, the people, and also the certain annoying/bugging stuffs that just won't go away.
stopping myself from MIA-ing, but i've this feeling that i might not be able to take it anymore. it's not that i don't want to share my problems with anyone/everyone. it's just that, sometimes you can't bring yourself to, and you just want to retreat back into your comfort zone and stay where you are till you feel safe enough to come out and face everyone again.
i kinda felt like i was at fault but a part of me hurts so much i don't care. i don't want to face you. maybe not ever again, but at least not now.
i want to love people who do love me. so do you?
and so this is it.
Tuesday, June 19
5:13 PM
hello everyone!
in taipei airport now and going HOME. (: wonder how is everyone back in singapore!
and if BBF has landed. i hope she lands later than me! haven't been seeing her since don't know when.
have to wake up early for math lesson tmrw. i'm not sure if i'm ready to see math again! ):
byeeeeeeeeeeee. shall be back at 10!
Friday, June 15
1:26 PM
ohwell, it did no harm to me other than making me feel like the lousiest shit in the entire earth.
i'm supposed to be all ready and prepared to leave for taiwan, but the weirdest thing is that our stuffs arn't packed, i'm not changed, and.
there's no one?!
i can't be bothered to go call and ask where the hell have they disappeared to, so i shall just stay here and watch yo momma on mtv.
seriously seriously, flight is at 5. it's 1.30, we're supposed to check in at 3.
this is the most random trip i've even been to.
the other pretty memorable one was a trip over the weekends, where i left right after school end and i took a plane in my school uniform. and when we were coming back, we missed the flight by 2mins and i nearly had to miss school the next day.
but well i made it back in time. just that i was pretty tired.
i'm feeling really random now. and confused about everything that's going on. at least the emo thoughts are gone, not that nyeh anymore. just feel like i'm gonna miss everyone here. esp brave souls. have been spending much time with them recently. perhaps a little too much, and we became bored souls yesterday.
had breakfast together like in the EARLY morning, then to my house for board games, AGAIN. cs left soon after and qi went to work, so me wp ahmad played quite alot of games.
monopoly was. WHOA. i owned them, to the point that they practically mortaged all that they had, and every single step that they took they landed in my house. i gave them more than 10 000 so that we could continue the game. but they was so freaking broke that we realised there's no other way to continue the game anymore.
took pictures and they looked so pathetic. HAHAH. i had a ROW of houses manx.
ate lunch and nyeh around a little more. watched shooter, but within the first 15mins of the show i was getting really bored and the microwave popcorn wasn't helping much cause it sucked. me and ahmad fell asleep and so we decided to watch black hawk down instead.
watched for a little while, before i zonked out and fell asleep. awoke probably an hour later to realise that wp was the only one left watching. ahmad completely fell asleep in my room.
watched the ending of black hawk down and couldn't really catch it for awhile cause what my mind was processing was like the front of shooter and the ending of black hawk down. so like damn freaking confused.
the show was sad, and quite gross. hate war. we shouldn't have wars at all.
woke ahmad up and we were like nyehing around again. was so damn freaking bored cause we had nothing to do. wanted to play twister but seems like my dad threw it away?! i hate it when he throws my stuff away, seeing them all as junk.
finally we decided to play 10 rounds of uno, hoping that we'll feel hungry enough to go out for dinner after the 10games.
after 3, it was enough. couldn't take it anymore and went out to eat dinner.
waited for qi to come meet us and played the detective game. like finally, we weren't bored souls anymore. was interesting and exciting. (:
went home and sleeeeeeeeeeep.
met them again today morning, and for this FIRST time this holidays, i was the earliest manx. (: i'm proud of you kw.
wp and ahmad was like sleeping, so they joined us later. ate breafast and played the game with cs again.
nyeh around and talk and scare ourselves with ghost/hotel stories.
went to library to look for my taiwan travel guide. WHERE exactly is taiwan? like asia? china or what? asia books don't include them, and china don't either.
?!
i think they're in the east asia.
ok whatever i suck at countries. (articulate also.)
and so i ended up here at home waiting for someone to come home?
12:47 PM
Overloved- Paula Deanda
I need to find somebody who can't sleep at night Without holding me without holding me tight I want someone who sees me all the time in their dreams And then wakes up thinking just of me Spent time on my own Spent time being free Now I just wanna be
Overloved Over needed Over wanted Over missed when I'm away Overloved Over dreamed of Over cared about Over everything I'd give anything to be overloved
I want someone who can't wait to kiss me again Even though it's been a minute since they last did Want someone who loves love songs And dedicates them to me And two loving arms never out of reach Been fine all alone Did fine being free This time I wanna be This time I wanna be
Overloved Over needed Over wanted Over missed when I'm away Overloved Over dreamed of Over cared about Over everything I'd give anything to be overloved
Want someone to talk to me with talk so sweet Want someone who's there to share their world with me I've been too lonely for too many nights This time I need someone here in my life This time I want someone holding me tight Been under kissed, under touched Now I just wanna be
Overloved Over needed Over wanted Over missed when I'm away Overloved Over dreamed of Over cared about Over everything I'd give anything to be overloved
I just wanna be Overloved By someone who's over in love with me Overloved Over kissed over touched
12:09 AM
I'll Stand By You- Girls Aloud
Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes Come on and come to me now Don't be ashamed to cry Let me see you through Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you You don't know what to do Nothing you confess Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you I'll stand by you Won't let nobody hurt you I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad Don't hold it all inside Come on and talk to me now Hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too Well I'm a lot like you You're standing at the crossroads And don't know which path to choose Let me come along Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you I'll stand by you Won't let nobody hurt you I'll stand by you Take me in, into your darkest hour And I'll never desert you I'll stand by you
And when... When the night falls on you, baby You're feeling all alone You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you I'll stand by you Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you Take me in, into your darkest hour And I'll never desert you I'll stand by you I'll stand by you Won't let nobody hurt you I'll stand by you Won't let nobody hurt you I'll stand by you
Thursday, June 14
11:56 PM
fall into your arms tonight, and forget about the rest of the world.
11:42 PM
the tears, finally free to fall.
10:58 PM
ok so i just deleted my entire post and decided to write another one.
firstly i've to say that no i'm not going to hongkong anymore. a sudden msg in the late afternoon told me that it's confirmed, i'm going to taiwan tmrw at 5pm.
certain things that were mentioned or repeated made me go like, well, maybe it's good that i'm going away after all. i can take it as a get away, from everything and everyone here, and just relax and have a great time.
but somehow i had too many memories that weren't exactly nice ones. and this makes me feel sick at the thought of going overseas.
many thoughts running through my mind now, i can't seem to think straight anymore. i even feel like i've lost the ability to blog in proper english. my mind's too messy for me to handle now.
certain issues have been bugging me like crazy, and i can't get seem to get them to go away.
i lost someone. though he's still around it seems like he's forgotten me. i miss the times that we used to have together, all the happy childhood memories that i'll forever hold close to me. it's said that he'll be the one for me at the very very end, but somehow things don't seem like it anymore. we haven't been talking ever since 2years ago. like seriously talking. and that sucks. sometimes i wonder, have you ever thought about me? have you ever realised that i'll be upset with your departure? i guess it's a no.
maybe it had never occured to you how hard i tried. i tried so hard i thought i was gonna loose myself anytime. and yet that was all that you could say to me. i feel utterly disappointed, yet something in me was already expecting it. like as if i knew from the very start that this was going to happen. even though everyone around me goes like, oh you know, it isn't your problem, yada yada, but how could you expect me to really think that way when sometimes it seems like someone else's life is in your hands? i didn't want it to turn out this way did i? i tried. i really did. i worried for things that don't concern me, things that i could simply go like, whatever, it's not me anyway is it? but did i? no i didn't. i took everything personally, maybe a little too personally, and this was what i got in the end. the sleepless nights, the endless tears. and this is the ending that i deserve, for trying too hard. i guess you will never know what really happened. i learnt alot from that incident, and it has indeed changed me. i learnt that things are never so simple, and being too naive was cause you to be at a loosing end. i became complicated, became someone that i detest. i'm filled with emotions so confusing i don't know what's going on anymore. what i want to say is that, i tried, i really did. even though i've failed badly.
people always say the same old sentence, if you could turn back time, if you could turn back time. what for? when it will never happen. when the mistakes that you've made will never be corrected. when all that you've done has been labelled as redundant, as useless, or even a wrong move. i don't want to to turn back time. i just want to either skip that entire part, or just forget about it. as simple as deleting messages.
this is getting too emotional.
and now there's a complication/error about the air tickets. my brother's going to go with my mum to taiwan tomorrow, and he's going to taiwan with my fater on saturday.
so he's gonna split himself into two, while i sit at home.
please let me stay strong and not breakdown.
2:35 AM
I'm a big big girl in a big big world, It's not a big big thing if you leave me.
1:11 AM
YAYYYY.
it's set! breakfast tmrw, and we're gonna video tape a skit! it'll be planned over breakfast tmrw, and i shall be bringing to hongkong in case i miss quacks!
first reaction was, OH YES. then later, huhhh. then now. shit i don't want to go.
ok this is bad. it reminds me of how i ran away from home last year just because i didn't want to go japan. ): sigh.
why do i hate traveling so much? will anyone even miss me?
but anw, my main purpose in the post is, TOKYO DOME
i've counted, it's about 27 stories high. cool man.
it's probably one of the scariest ride i've ever taken in my pretty short 14 years of life. (btw blogger is screwing up and it's starting to annoy me.)
(damn, i can't upload the picture. shall just post this post and try again later!)
i really don't feel like going overseas.
12:09 AM
How To Touch A Girl - Jojo
Mmm
I think I could like you I already do Feelings can grow but They can go away too You're takin my hand Lookin into my eyes Don't be in a rush to Get me tonight
i Feel somethin happenin Could this be a spark? To satisfy me baby Gotta satisfy my heart
Do you know how to touch a girl? If you want me so much First I have to know Are you thoughtful and kind? Do you care what's on my mind? Or am I just for show? You'll go far in this world If you know how to touch a girl
Do you know how to touch, know how to touch a girl? Do you know how to touch, know how to touch a girl?
I think I could like you But I keep holding back Cause I can't seem to tell If you're fiction or fact Show me you can laugh Show me you can cry Show me who you really are Deep down inside
Do you feel somethin happenin? Could this be for real? I don't know right now but tonight we'll reveal
Do you know how to touch a girl? If you want me so much First I have to know Are you thoughtful and kind? Do you care what's on my mind? Or am I just for show? You'll go far in this world If you know how to touch a girl
Do you know how to touch, know how to touch a girl? Do you know how to touch, know how to touch a girl?
Bring me some flowers Conversation for hours To see if we really connect And baby if we do Ooh I'll be givin all my love to you Ohh
Do you know how to touch a girl? If you want me so much First I have to know Are you thoughtful and kind? Do you care what's on my mind? Or am I just for show? You'll go far in this world If you know how to touch a girl
Do you know how to touch, know how to touch a girl? (Yeah, yeah) Do you know how to touch, know how to touch a girl?
You'll go far in this world If you know how to touch a girl
Wednesday, June 13
11:43 PM
all of a sudden i cannot differenciate day&night.
i can't believe we played through the entire night.
well, went for study date with jedi chantal at marina subway and ate a hell lot of cookies. (quite alot). overall i think it was pretty ok, i completed quite abit of work. jedi that slacker, so damn lazy i can't believe it! haha she's so lazy she don't want to chew her food, so she chose not to eat instead.
let me tell you the story of the lazy boy who died. (ok come look for me, i'll be more than willing to tell it to you. for more information, you can contact me at 98877654.)
then we went around to times, and i've decided that after i finish my long line of to-read books, which they're sadly being left alone for the time being due to homework friends and dance, i'll get the biography for princess masako. (: and maybe the life story of a saudi arabia princess.
i don't get why i adore biographies. the next thing you know you'll see me reading confessions of an heir. paris hilton. =/ not really actually.
ohwell. met quacks to watch shrek3, which was short yet i enjoyed it alot. i love a few scenes that were damn funny. i don't know whether it was an advantage/disadvantage that i was sitting in the middle, cause on my left was qi damn strong-ing away, and on my right was cs damn strong-ing away. super annoying. but at least they didn't annoy me. haha i pity the rest of them. (:
after that they wanted to play articulate, so they came over to my house. wanted to get my mummy to play with us (what's with the attraction between the 2 parties?!) but she was too tired from work so well, they played while i did my stuffs outside.
when i went in the game was over, and 1team lost like shit. i can't remember who though. played truth/truth cause there weren't exactly any dare, but after awhile it felt more like a heart to heart chat in a different form. wp left early, so there were only 4 of us left.
it got a little emotional after awhile, teared a little. i realise i haven't cried for quite awhile. you know why? cause big girls don't cry. hur hur.
got to understand more about everyone and everything, we were like telling our life stories. and never am i ever going to get bullied and stick my finger into a toilet bowl anymore. hahahahaha. stupid sibling stories.
lost track of time after awhile, just know that we played things like cluedo and towards morning we were playing taiti and cheat. i like cheat! kinda my first time playing it yesterday. played speed, then heart attack and by the time it was around like 5? wanted to watch the sunrise but the game was more attractive maybe?
i know there was one point of time they took a FREAKING stupid picture of me (named priceless) and i was feeling damn sad cause they kept whacking me during heartattack, like on purpose. so i nyeh like shit hoping they would stop by they didn't bother me luhh. wth. damn freaking sleepy so i put my head down then sniffed (cause my nose was itching) then they thought that i was crying.
i was about to burst out laughing but control... haha failed anyway.
went to macs for breakfast at about 7 and at that time i think none of us were sane. had this really weird feeling, like super duper hyper but no energy to show it out. when the aunty at macs was talking to me i couldn't understand what on earth she was saying, just yahhhh all the way.
ate bagel and seriously seriously, there was like no taste! so i went like, ehh, why my bagel no taste one. to realise after 10 seconds that yes there was taste. something was seriously wrong with me by that time. we were eating breakfast like zombies (spasms on shoulders&neck) and talking trash.
couldn't remember clearly what happened after that, but ahmad told me just now that i was going crazy and talking non-stop, and probably all that i said doesn't really make sense anyway. all i knew was i took a picture of my wonderful bed and wanted to send to them before i zzzzz out. didn't get to send anw.
i slept for 9hrs straight. (:
ahhhhhhhhh.
qi was damn funny luhh. he said he went to school for training and slept everywhere. like he slept in the middle of all the chairs on a mat when he went to pick up his bball. and when his mum came to school to talk to him he walked one big round around the school and didn't realise his mum was talking to him until someone else told him.
the effects of not sleeping.
i'm actually damn sleepy now but somehow math is damn addictive, i can't seem to bring myself away from it after i've done everything. amazingly. (:
i must be motivated to study! chantal we must keep up the name of being the most hardworking! (:
i wanted breakfast tmrw, but realised we quacked goodbye before any actually replied me, so. nyeh. i shall sleep my morning away. (:
OH YES! played vortex just now, was fun, but it wasn't enough. scare factor was. =/ nyehhhh. i neeed to go back to tokyo dome. i LOVED the rollercoaster. screamed till i was out of breath and i wasn't even near the ground.
ok i think my post is long enough. shall be off to company maths! (:
BBF shall be back soon. (:
Tuesday, June 12
12:18 AM
you know, i could give you all my love.
12:05 AM
The Remedy - Jason Mraz
I saw fireworks from the freeway And behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away 'Cause you were born on the fourth of july, freedom ring Now something on the surface it stings I said something on the surface Well it kind of makes me nervous Who says that you deserve this And what kind of god would serve this? We will cure this dirty old disease If you've got the poison I've got the remedy
The remedy is the experience. This is a dangerous liaison I say the comedy is that it's serious. This is a strange enough new play on words I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend The rest of your nights with the light on So shine the light on all of your friends When it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.
I heard two men talking on the radio In a cross fire kind of reality show Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack They were counting down the ways to stab The brother in the be right back after this The unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh Death breath is sure to outlast this catastrophy Dance with me, because if you've got the poison, I've got the remedy
The remedy is the experience. This is a dangerous liaison I say the comedy is that it's serious. This is a strange enough new play on words I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend The rest of your nights with the light on So shine the light on all of your friends When it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.
When I fall in love I take my time There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why
Because
The remedy is the experience. This is a dangerous liaison I say the comedy is that it's serious. This is a strange enough new play on words I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend The rest of your nights with the light on So shine the light on all of your friends When it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't and I won't and I won't
Monday, June 11
11:50 PM
i think i do like jason mraz. (:
blogged many lyrics of songs that i've been listening to, and some that i hear on the radio. like like (:
went out with jedi today to study at novena mos. mann i hate that auntie who mops with chlorine. stink up the entire place and i wanted to die inside. and she mopped like a few times! ):
today was goooood. completed a few math homework and chinese, and english is left with summary. which is gooooood for one day! what's more it was only a few hours.
was supposed to look for a nice apron but i couldn't find any! thanks jedi anw, for that cute small apron from japan. =D i must must find a nice one that i can actually wear!
then we went to get F&C ingredients and we nearly froze inside. gosh my fingers were like purple. what's with the coldness! =/ jedi happily squatted at the bread section while i went to get other stuffs.
lugged heavy thingys back to bishan and drank vanillaaa. but we were both like damn full after that. and after a deal of 2hiphopjellies she agreed to walk with me to my house. i couldn't manage! i'll just die under the weight.
then qi came to my house to help to cook. we were like stinky smelly and everything cause of all the oil and smoke. was quite fun. (:
then the others came, eat, watched shrek 2 and hills have eyes 2. it's damn freaky gory i wanted to die. the plan was to kill time, watch till about 9.15 before leaving for the funfair but we kinda got addicted so we postponed the funfair. eeeeeks those bloody scenes.
played articulate. we won! (: yayyyyyyy.
kinda fun today, at least work is done. i must keep it up! i feel so slack i can't stand myself. chinese o's oral coming, i'd better do it well! seems like i'm starting to stammer sometimes which is bad! let's start speaking chinese! and i must learn those 4words 4words kind to impress the examiners! (:
i can do it man.
clique let's go out soon. i miss caroline! haven't seen her since that day! ):
and it's the 2nd day that BBF left. time is so slowwwwwwwwwwwwww.
having tuition tmrw at 10 in the morning. yawns. =O
then meeting jedi and chantal!
and shrek the 3rd at marina after that. i hope i won't be late. heeeeeeee. ok sleepy. bye. (:
cause our lips can touch
1:10 AM
Life Is Wonderful- Jason Mraz
It takes a crane to build a crane It takes two floors to make a storey It takes an egg to make a hen It takes a hen to make an egg There is no end to what I'm saying
It takes a thought to make a word And it takes some words to make an action And it takes some work to make it work It takes some good to make it hurt It takes some bad for satisfaction
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle Ah la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la la
It takes a night to make it dawn And it takes a day to make you yawn brother And it takes some old to make you young It takes some cold to know the sun It takes the one to have the other
And it takes no time to fall in love But it takes you years to know what love is And it takes some fears to make you trust It takes some tears to make it rust It takes some dust to make it polished
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la
It is so...
It takes some silence to make sound And it takes a loss before you found it And it takes a road to go nowhere It takes a toll to make you care It takes a hole to make a mountain
Ah la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la la life goes full circle Ah la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la la life is meaningful Ah la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la la
It is so...wonderful... It is so meaningful...
1:10 AM
Paula Deanda (feat. The Dey) - Walk Away Lyric
I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me Yeah, I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me
Yeah, you're gonna remember me boo I'm gonna remember you too I can't forget all the crazy shh we used to do You was doing too much, I wasn't doing enough That's what your friends say, you got a man anyway I can't explain them either, I don't wanna leave ya Hell yeah, it's hard to walk away when I see you When I see you I remember when the day You put your shoes on before and moved on before I could say
I saw you with your new girl just yesterday And I feel that I must confess Even though it kills me to have to say I'll admit that I was impressed I guess I'd call it show of affection Gotta commend you on your selection Though I know I shouldn't be concerned In the back of my mind I can't help but question
Does she rub your feet When you've had a long day And scratch your scalp When you take out your braids Does she know you like to play PS2 'Til 6 in the morning like I do
I can't explain this feeling (yeah) I think about it everyday And even though we've moved on (uh huh) It gets so hard to walk away I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me Walk away Walk away (Forever you will live in my memory) Walk away I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me Walk away I can't forget how we used to be
I guess I have to live my life from day to day Hoping maybe you'll come back I know I tell myself not to be afraid to move on But it seems I can't Though my new man is giving me attention But it ain't the same as your affection I know that I should be content In the back of my mind I can't help but question
Does he kiss me on my forehead Before we lay Show up on my doorstep With a bouquet Does he feel me in the middle of the day Just to say baby I love you like you used to
I can't explain this feeling (I can't explain) (yeah) I think about it everyday (everyday) And even though we've moved on (moved on) (uh huh) It gets so hard to walk away I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me Walk away Walk away (walk away) (Forever you will live in my memory) Walk away I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me Walk away, yeah I can't forget how we used to be
I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me The things we did, the way we share our fantasies Just you and me, my friend, my love, my family How did we lose the love that was meant to be Sometimes I kiss her, wish that it was you that I'm kissin' Sometimes I miss him, wish that it was you that I'm missin' Sometimes I hug her, wish that it was you that I'm huggin' And I realize how much I'm buggin I miss you
So how do I express this feeling 'Cause nobody compares to you And you know that she'll never love you like I do
(Yeah) I can't explain this feeling (uh huh) I think about it everyday (everyday) (yeah) And even though we've moved on (yeah) It gets so hard to walk away I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me Walk away (walk away) Walk away (walk away) Walk away I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me Walk away I can't forget how we used to be
(I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me Forever you will live in my memory I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me) I can't explain this feeling I think about it everyday (everyday) And even though we've moved on (moved on) It gets so hard to walk away I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me Walk away (walk away) Walk away (walk away) (Forever you will live in my memory) Walk away I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me Walk away I can't forget how we used to be
I'm gonna remember you, you're gonna remember me
1:07 AM
Big Girls Don't Cry- Fergie (sudden addiction after so many rehearsals)
Da Da Da Da The smell of your skin lingers on me, now You're probably on your flight back to your hometown I need some shelter of my own protection baby Be with myself in center, clarity, peace, serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We got some straightening out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've gotta get a move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry
The path that I'm walking, I must go alone I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they? And I forsee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We got some straightening out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've gotta get a move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry
Like a little school mate in the school yard We'll play jacks and UNO cards I'll be your best friend And you'll be mine, valentine Yes you can hold my hand if you want to 'cause I wanna hold yours too We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds But it's time for me to go home It's getting late, dark outside I need to be with myself in center, clarity, peace, serenity yeah
I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We got some straightening out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've gotta get a move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry da da da da da da
12:59 AM
Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Hey girl you know you drive me crazy one look puts the rhythm in my hand. Still I'll never understand why you hang around I see what's going down.
Cover up with make up in the mirror tell yourself it's never gonna happen again you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect every action in this world will bear a consequence If you wade around forever you will surely drown I see what's going down.
I see the way you go and say your right again, say your right again heed my lecture
Do you feel like a man when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down a new life she has found.
Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough.. Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..
One day she will tell you that she has had enough its coming round again.
Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough
12:36 AM
AHHHHHHHHHHHH.
i'm blogging.
shall blog about what i've been doing for the past week, since i've MIA-ed for quite awhile.
have been spending my entire dayS at republic poly preparing for sentio dance concert. it's a charity dance concert organised by RJC. anw, there's like rehearsals everyday and like morning to night, so basically i'm being stuck in there for days.
what's worse, our item is the closing item, and we've like full dress rehearsals everyday before the concert itself, and an extra day. so we've like hours to kill and we're only allowed in our dressing room.
so it's like we reach the place at 1, change into costumes and make up done and at about 2 (it's always delayed) we'll start full dress. so the time in between 2 and around 4-420 we've nothing to do. and so we have our rehearsal and from the time we end the rehearsal to about 5 or 6 plus we've dinner. and half the time we're at 7-11. (:
and then from about 6 onwards, the doors to backstage are locked up and we're then again stuck in our room. that's when we play cards, sleep, read, do homework, talk, listen to ipods and everything you do to kill time.
on friday it was really REALLY bad for me cause i was so damn freaking bored i wanted to die. they were playing bridge and though they really tried to teach me how to play during dance chalet last year i still couldn't get it. so me and xinya and some others were really dying. i tried to fall asleep but failed, and spent my time playing games on eileen's ipod.
but on saturday it was better, played some other card games and i even brought a book there to read in case i was damn bored again. and we had supplies of food like biscuits chocolates and what nots. and even though we were not allowed to eat in there it seems like no one cared. you're so bored in there you probably don't even care about anything else.
and there were this bunch of kids, who are also performers and we're their buddies. haha it's just that during the finale we hold their hands and bow together. and they were really really cute and adorable at the beginning, but it appears that they annoy everyone, including the SA dancers who were our roomates (it's like staying at a hostel/hotel/chalet cause we spend our entire day there). actually i'm quite alright with them. but i shall just list the things that they do that irritate people.
they constantly knock on our room door and like run away after that. and we kinda ignore them by not opening the doors. but once you open it you see a bunch of kids yelling out buddy buddy buddy!
and they're just really chatty and noisy, but you can't blame them, they're kids. and actually i suddenly don't find them annoying anymore. they shower me alot of love you know. hahaha.
my little buddy trisha gave me tonnes of snacks and little sweets. and a bunch of flowers too. which was actually quite sweet. (: and she's qutie cute also, like she said to me that i've to hold her when i go backstage. so like usually she'll come find me but towards the end she'll just stand there and hold her hands out to wait for me to go to her. (i can picture her now.) =D
and there's felicia too, chewy's buddy, who's also kinda my buddy, though not as close to her. but they're both nice girls. haha i had to sign on the programme booklet and write my particulars on this paper. and take many many photos with all of them. it kinda freaks me out when they come to me saying: my mummy wants to see you! =/
and the SA guy dancer commented something about how annoying they are and how i must like kids cause it seems like only i could stand them. sadly i was just behind the shower curtain and i heard it. haha but doesn't matter lah.
but i still think they're ok what. towards the end on saturday night when they said bye to me and hugged me i kinda wanted to cry. like it's the last time i'll ever see them know! ): and even all those other little ones who didn't know me hugged me too! and just on that morning when i first reached the auditorium all of them swarmed towards me and started telling me all sorts of stories. ):
sad sad sad.
and it was also the last SYF on stage, and with the sec4s. i hope we'll really continue dynamic. will we?
it kinda feels like SYF practices again this few days, spending every single hour with dancers. like i see them 9 in the morning and leave them at 1030 in the night, and see them again the next day.
and it lasted so many days that i became used to it already. today morning when i awoke to realise that i didn't have to make my way to woodlands and no, i'm not going to see dancers i felt kinda weird, and sad.
we'll all miss the sec 4s. dance always feel so empty without them.
i realise my post is freaking long and probably no one will read it. maybe the first few lines?
(this feels more like my diary than anything else.)
and today went to settlers cafe and had alot of fun. we shall visit the new outlet soon? BBF I MISS YOU ALOT! it felt weird without you. ):
shall be meeting jedi tmrw for movie and study date? =D
and they'll be coming to my house for dinner tmrw. fish&chips by me! and then we'll have a shreak marathon. i've never watched any of them. =/
or maybe a ocean 11/12/13 marathon.
and i've the hills have eyes 2 too! (: but no i'm not going to watch it. haha.
ok it's enough now, i shall go sleep. haven't been sleeping well recently, and I HAVEN'T DONE ANY HOMEWORK/STUDIED!
this is REALLY bad.
PROFILE
KorWoong
160992
Cedar Girls' Dance
WISHES
iPod Classic
Radio Remote In-ear headphones Puma Gym Bag
Personal Studio
All the books I ever wanted
