i suddenly felt i need to rant.

doesnt seem like anyone's free to listen to me though.

is it that im moodswinging again?

or the songs are getting a little emo.

when you say nothing at all...

i love it when it's in the day.

where the sun's forever shining.

and i'd naturally be happy.

-frowns. i dont like the night.

TAG REPLIES
lookalike: yes im trying very hard now! and i finished a few homework - AMAZING.
ahmad: what's funny? =/
iknowwhoiam: definitely! and i will be looking forward to that day. (: we'll all work hard.
rose: eeeyur. dont know who you are.
cs: haha yes. it IS her bday if you havent noticed.
huixin: HELLO. i enjoy seeing you in school so much!! =DD

we had disgusting english oral today! and i was the first one. =/ is mrs frankline nice? she made me talk about SNAKES. and how on earth am i supposed to know about snakes?! such a weird topic. ): did i fail? dont think so.

and i pity the other dancers today. it seems like they went through alot while i was having oral. ): they're shoulders were red and everything, and i totally couldnt do that flipping thing. they spent hours trying to get it right.

i'd work hard to get it too. and the jumps! =/ but my head hurts alot cause i always crash to the floor halfway rolling. my back hurts ok!


have been thinking a little too much recently.
kind of forgotten how to be happy.
im sorry daddy if i affected you too.
but i will get over it. (:

WHERE'S MY PETERPAN?!

would you know my name?
if i saw you in heaven.
would you feel the same?
if i saw you in heaven.
i must be strong and carry on, cause i know i dont belong here in heaven.

would you hold my hand?
if i saw you in heaven.
would you hear me stand?
if i saw you in heaven.
i'll find my way,
through night and day.
cause i know i just cant stay here in heaven.

time can bring us down, time can bend your knees.
time can break you heart, have you begging please,
begging please.

beyond the door, there's peace i'm sure.
and i know there'll be no more tears in heaven.

would you know my name?
if i saw you in heaven.
would you feel the same?
if i saw you in heaven.
i must be strong and carry on, cause i know i dont belong here in heaven.

I'VE GOT A FEW IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY.

but i'll only tell it to those people who REALLY are important to me!! (:

went out with 2 SUPER important people yesterday. shall call them 3 and 4? and im 2? hahaha(: we had lots of fun together! (you know who you are. =D )

or more like moodswinging rather. =/

anyway we went to watch lake house. lake house is actually quite. weird? i seriously dont understand what was going on in the movie. whoever understands it please explain to me.

we were supposed to catch the ndp fireworks but i guess we spent too much time at the shops!! and there was this super cute thing which expands? hahh. and it'll turn into bigger figurines? i dont know how to say! but i guess i'll buy it someday and try?? hahaha. oh. 3 says that 1 shall be the little sister thing we saw at the shop. =/

oh yes. you can get new parents too!

i think im going to get the sheep from cards n such! the blue one looks SO cute. (: and i saw a big szt and tiewbee. get jealous! x)

walked to esplanade barefooted! my shoes are dirty!! 3's shoes too! but i thought i felt happier without them. we sat at the railings and everyone started moodswinging and there was this weird silence? hahah. but we talked alot and we all didnt want to go home. at all. i really wished that yesterday would never come to an end.

i think i really needed yesterday.

my mind's filled with random thoughts now i think i need to organise it a little. i guess i just dont want this year to end?

day after day.
should i even countdown?

yuck. i dont even want that day to come. AT ALL.

it just sucks to think of it.
end of year.
next year.
EW.

be my peterpan, and bring me away to neverland.
will you?

shant blog much today, other than i really enjoyed dance! cant wait for next week!! (:

dont worry, i'll reply the tags!!

lookalike: i enjoyed dance alot today!! really glad that i went to school afterall. (:
ahmad: i've promised myself that happiness shall really be my best cure!
wy: why??
waiteng: im not dumb dumb! haha. you're always giving me weird names. and im getting better already!
sir: you've been going non stop about him! and i like the dance. NOT him! x)
niu: WOW. you tagged! ((: i shall get well VERY soon!
madeline: YES WE WILL! (: and i shall link you! my 2nd table partner!
josh: haha sure!
cs: there's a war? wow you're very random.
mel: I PROMISED! so i went to school today! enjoyed myself alot! (:
wp: yes i love my chinese name. ((:
stoopid boy: hahahaha. thanks!
ros: yes! im getting better already. (: and thanks for your cds too!!
rose: AHHHHHH. who are you?!?!??! such a mysterious person? do we know you?
ahahahha: and now who are you? =/ confusing
ella: we had 3 tests in 1 day!! -hugs. we're of the same situation where the school's out to kill us. ):

OFF TO SLEEP! (:

I THOUGHT I WAS BETTER. ):

oh well. face up to reality, im having stupid fever. ):

maybe happiness isnt the best cure. medicine is.

oh and thanks to daddy for the medicine! =D

and we had THREE tests today! i seriously think that they were out to kill me. english maths and chinese! and really, i slept through more than half of the test cause i was feeling really sleepy and having headache and everything.

the rest if the day went kinda well, wasnt that bad.

then.

i reached home, to find out that i still had fever. =/ im feeling really terrible now yet i dont wanna sleep!!

head hurts. ALOT.

someone save me please!

no matter what, thanks everyone for caring! love you people ALOT ALOT.

IM SICK. ):

and im feeling really terrible, i dont feel like studying anymore. there's stupid maths and chinese test tmrw, and ALL the homework that im not done with!!

im feeling sad too.

i cant really remember what happened today, cause i cant think anymore. shall reply tags.

tiara: SORRY. i didnt know that there's music! using a different browser that's why. ): sorry.
joshua: hahaha. the skin is gone already. (:
ahmad: haha whatever!
waiteng: haha it's ok lah. (:
cs: yesyes! (: that was the good news. and sorry! i just fixed it..
wp: dont worry you're not!! (: i'll tell you
idunnowhoiam: haha sorry. =/
lookalike: hello! (:
wy: it's all fixed now! and thanks! =D
chengyi: haha hello! (:
the rose: oh no. who are you?? =/

IM HAVING THREE TABLE PARTNERS NOW! (:

anyone jealous of me?? x)

oh well. we just joined up our tables, so now there's like me xinyi madeline and mok mok sitting together. (: im going to look forward to going to school now!! =D

and jessica is being VERY lame. she's keep saying things like. why is a square square? and the answer will be something like. cause it's not a circle.

OH YES! im sorry about the blogskin! you know the one i thought it was nice. i was using a different browser and that's why i couldnt hear the irritating song and the font was. DISGUSTING. oh well. no wonder some people could see and others couldnt. -sigh, technology.

shall be looking forward to tmrw, and good luck for the match tmrw! nemo shall have a fixed fin. (:

just when i thought that i was in this, all alone, i found out that i still had alot of people caring for me. so,

back to being a happy little kid. (:

STRAIGHT POINT UP HOLD AND SHUT UP.

we'll dance better the next time with these tips!

YES.

super cute right!!
it's feels kinda kiddish, but i dont care.
i dont want to grow up,
so i shall be as childish as i can.

ok that's retarded. im just not being myself and im going mad.
im trying too hard to not grow up,

ANYWAY. i saw that waiteng changed her blogskin and i've decided to change mine too! (it was also because of her that i changed the other time.)

it's cute right?! well i think it is. i like it alot.
do you?

oh well. you cant dislike it.
I'LL MAKE YOU LIKE IT. (:

LALALA. kw told me to post for her! haha i'm SOOOOO busy studying for all the stupid tests tomm. but i'm just too nice so i shall post for her! haha WE HATE SUNDAYS! and kw hates saturdays too! =D haha okay this is nonsense la. but i don't know what to post! okay actually this is something kw has been wanting to tell everybody for a long time. but i guess she hasn't been having the courage to say that................................. WAITENG ROCKS! =D hah study hard for all tests and work hard for all projects everyone! especially when exams are coming up! =D haha gogogo JIAYOU (:

<3 WONDERFUL WAITENG (:

just a random post, since im really not in a mood for anything now.

i promise myself to complete alot of things but this weekend.

finish my VERY late zuowen, my QUITE late home econs brochure, letters that i havent replied, geog workbook, maths exercise, geog research, and packing all the books in my room into boxes.

and i havent done any. other than my zuowen.

im super restless now, i dont know why. i cant think of anything else other than that. i really need to get a grip and start putting my life in order. i cant depend on you forever.

and you. get out of my life, before i use my over 300 books to whack you, untill you get out of OUR house. yes, it's ours. you know i dislike you.

they're too many things happening this weekend, im glad it's over. i shall leave everything behind, and only remember the sweet things. as for the rest, into the bin you go.

for now, im back. the happy tkw who cant stop smiling and showing everyone her braces-less teeth! (:

a happy kid, now and forever.

THE PICTURES SAYS IT ALL.

IM SUPER HAPPY TODAY!!
everyone will know why tmrw. x)

CANT WAIT TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE GREAT NEWS! only two people know. for now. =DDD

today was a super eventful day!

it started off with the sotong incident. they were VERY rebellious today! whatever the sotong said they kept talking back, and i know the teachers were super angry, but they just went on and on! the whole class was super pissed off by that sotong cause he kept forcing us to run 5 rounds. so we all decided that we should run super slow.

but sadly i had stitches cause i havent been eating much for the past few days. but mel was being super sweet and she kept motivating on. and sotong said that if we were to pace each other somemore we'll have to run in opposite directions. and mel and caroline actually shouted back to him saying OK. so retarded! they were super unhappy but whatever. i like mr chan still. (: i will NEVER talk back to him. haha.

then it was during reading period. the WHOLE of 2P were still in class when we were the only few idiots who were sitting there. and we got into trouble with english head.

i think we were super naughty today. somehow. ):

i think me and jessica are DYING partners. we both have decided we shall not do zuowen. YES. the one that's supposed to be handed in on monday. x)

and we had home econs today! it was SUPER fun really. and they said that the pie that me and class pet cooked was nice! i brought home and my bro and mum said it was nice too. im starting to really like cooking. (:

seriously. I CANT WAIT FOR TMRW, where we'll be taking MILLIONS of photos!! ((:

i dont know what to say now. =/

tests didnt go too well for me today.

it was only during assembly when i found out that i missed out the whole of chapter 8 for history. i totally didnt know! and so. that's the end for history.

i tried studying in between lessons and everything, but it just seems like my brain stopped reading, and i dont even understand a single word on the disgusting textbook. ):

and i was SO stressed that during CE period i thought i was going to cry, untill the test itself.

I GAVE UP. i just looked through the test paper and wrote down my answers. and within three quaters of the time given, i finished. for both science and history.

therefore i conclude that today's test screwed up my whole day.

well maybe not, i got a letter from daddy-in-law. (:

and xinyi was being sweet today. cause i was very stressed and i think i seriously looked like i was going to cry, so she used her giraffe puppet to cheer me up. and the spongebob too. though they wont help as much as haigui but it's going to dry soon! after swimming in the washing machine for quite awhile.

speaking about soft toys, i think alot of teachers are getting irritated with my toys. shall keep it away from them, before they take it away from me. i'll stab them with a blunt knife (mel) if they ever take it from me. x)

i shall be looking forward to dance after HMT oral tmrw, where i can see my dearest SIR. and we can talk talk talk! but i wont be there for warm ups. ): bet she'll miss me. HAH.

everyone please wish me good luck for tmrw! and hope i dont make a fool out of myself in front of the teacher!

and i havent done my zuowen yet. i was supposed to hand in FOUR days ago! =/

IM VERY VERY VERY VERY STRESSED NOW.

and i think im going to cry.

i studied so hard! and now i cant remember anything. i dont even understand all that words in the stupid assesment book. i hate tests.

I DONT LIKE CHEMICALS. I HATE CHEMICALS. I DONT UNDERSTAND THEM.

and im going to fail, and im going to cry. ):

but at least i have some people motivating me. (: thanks.

but im still very stressed.

19.07.06
1. science test
2. history test
20.07.06
1. higher chinese oral
21.07.06
1. RACIAL HARMONY DAY.(:
24.07.06
1. chinese test 1
2. 2.4 km run
25.07.06
1. chinese test 2
31.07.06
1. english oral
02.08.06
1. geography test
08.08.06
1. 5 items test
09.08.06
1. NATIONAL DAY.(:
10.08.06
1. HOLIDAY. (:
16.08.06
1. literature test
2. Maths test

today was a HAPPY day for me.(:

we had music lesson again! and i learnt new songs. and anw josh lent me his guitar book so im playing it now! i know it's only some kiddy songs like mary had a little lamb but i'll improve soon! =D

today was TOYS day. everyone brought their toys!! caroline had her SZT, merilyn had her tiewbee, i had my dearest haigui, and even xinyi had a GIRAFFE! x) though i think i irritated the music teacher cause i played too much with it. =/

AND. i remember wu laoshi went to say that i was a five year old kid who cant leave my toy. =/ YOU DONT HAVE TO BE FIVE TO OWN A TOY RIGHT. hmph.

and haigui's going to the washing machine. and dearest nemo lent me a spongebob toy! i wont be that lonely afterall. =DDD

after school i didnt go to CCAB. im sorry. next time alright? x( but mainly it was fun, but they were SWEATY. and kept smearing those disgusting sweat! lol.

and lastly. I AM NOT WEIRD. =D i know you know im not weird. hahahaha.

it's all about YOU.

DINNER WAS NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE!(:

all thanks to the wonderful TANKORWOONG, and her so called F&N partner- named by spastic bro. =/

anw, i havent been cooking ever since dont know when(other than home econs) and i cooked pasta today! it was super nice really! 8o'clock will be the second round, cause we all couldnt finish. haha. i shall cook for everyone to eat. x) or at least when it tastes a little better. AND i shall cook without other people helping me. i didnt dare to fry the stupid chicken, cause the hot oil was sputtering. hahaha.

is my hidden talent cooking?

ok i shall stop. im getting ego already.

i shall blog about SIR. since she've included me in her blog TWO times. x)
i dont really know what to say, but just that i LOVE her. (:

alright. that's it. shant say more. xD

im sorry. you were the one who chose to let it go.

I took the "Love Style" quiz on gURL.com
		I am... Pragma/Green Everyone has their pragmatic moments, but, the way John Alan Lee sees it, you, Pragmatic Patty, might just make the rest of us look like fools for love. Green types don't lose their head over another person. Instead, they are attracted to what's good for them, (You lucky devil!). Read more... What's your love style?

Have you and your bff been friends forever? Is your friendship one built on loyalty and a history of helping one another out? Marissa and Summer from "The O.C." would understand.

Despite Marissa's multiple family problems, romance problems and just plain old problems, there has been one girl always by her side--Summer. Sure, she may be extremely concerned with her own appearance and popularity status, but her devotion to Marissa never waivers. These two are in it for the long haul. Let's just say they are so in sync that they even eat their breakfast together.

Just like Marissa and Summer, it sounds like you and your bff know what it means to take care of a friend through the hard times and how to party down to celebrate the good. Life may be tough, but it helps when you have a friend who is as reliable as the rising sun. These kind of friends would leave a sweetie behind just to make sure the other is safe walking home. Friends like these guard the bathroom door when the lock is broken, share their new clothes and never spill the beans about the others' secret crush. Given this solid foundation, it's easy to imagine building a sturdy and long-lasting future together.

i kinda reflected on yesterday. and found out that alot more DID happen other than crying. =/

we actually had assembly and we learnt how to play guitar during music lessons!! (: though for now the only thing i can play is like mary had a little lamb. -pouts. I WILL WORK HARD. haha. and all i know about assembly was that it was boring and half the time i was falling asleep on jeanette's back.

and i think we freaked cheryl and yanjie out. haha. and i know there were a few irritating cedarians who kept trying to pry through the windows to see who's that idiot crying. haha.

suddenly think that we were REALLY dumb.

anw. pirates was nice today. and maybe i'll be a pirate someday. (no dont come and tell me that they dont exsist anymore. you people always crash my wonderful dreams. =/) and i shall sail around hoping to see a jack sparrow stuck on an island drinking rum, or see some david jones disgusting "beard". that'll be cool. x)

will we?

TAG REPLIES.

waiteng: forget it. JUST ADMIT. haha.
wp: YES. i want to be at the TOP. x)
look alike: NO! it must have been you right?? ):
fake ahmad yj and iamwhoiam : why are you like the same person?? and what's with pasta? =/
wx: haha guess that'll be better. and they're sad enough that they lost already...
wugui: NO MORE CRYING!! =/
ahmad: haha. dont know who's that either.

THE END.

about today..

all i can remember is that we wailed like mad in class today. all four of us. we just sat down there and cry and cry and cry. i know we cried for more that half an hour. hahaha. i think i've cried so badly in school before, other than graduation. =/ but it was kinda retarded though. when we decided that we should stop crying and leave the school we were already super tired and were falling asleep. just hope that it's all over.

shant say much more about what happened, just hope that we will stop crying. lol.

WE'RE ALL HAPPY KIDS. (:

i studied today. (:

I REALLY DID.

anw, the bballers are out of nationals already. ): i dont really know what to say now, but just hope that they wont be sad. =/ (from the way jeanette wail. haha)

dance was quite alright, though laoshi seemed to be a little angry with us or something. she didnt teach us or anything and kinda picked on us. ): i dont know what we did. but in the end it was good afterall, and zhiyun told me all her LONG stories. =DDD INTERESTING. haha.

tmrw's going to be the FIRST "outing" with them ever since june hols. at last they're having a break from training. i already forgot what it is like to even go out with them. shall have fun tmrw! (:

there are so many tests coming up these days, and i think im going to fail science all over again. someone pray for me? haha. i shall study really hard!!

oh and today morning something really bad happened to me and my uniform stinks now. ): but it wasnt as bad as i thought. i thought i was going to have bad luck the whole day but it didnt seem that way. (: and i had alot of fun when discussing the science report with layeng class pet and jessica. retarded jessica was trying really hard to speak her not-so-perfect chinese! im really scared for chinese oral. i cant speak chinese properly, or rather. i cant continue a whole conversation with the teacher! im dead.

oh. and i dont think she's scary anymore. after what zhiyun told me. (:

WHOO.

im really happy now. after such a long time. so this time, it's going to be a really HAPPY post. (:

so i woke up with a SIAN mood. which is bad. =/

BUT everything changed when i went to school!! it was raining and i had my dearest bumblebee back in action with me. (: though it was raining and everything i was just plain happy. ((:

lessons werent exactly boring today, even tm2's lesson was somewhat enjoyable. then lab period was ok, cause me and mel were singing "if you're happy and you know it lalalalala". after waiteng's influence. x) then it was AKJ's maths lesson.

RECESS.

i was HUNGRY. and i was being really grumpy during maths lesson, and i couldnt stop writing that I WANT FOOD and A HUNGRY MAN IS AN ANGRY MAN. i think it's something like that. and xinyi my tablepartner kept saying i was grumpy. =/

but recess saved my life!! because i got to eat. =D we ate ALOT today really. we spent more than like $3 just on PLAIN OLD CANTEEN FOOD. i remember they used to have this stupid survey thing and they said that a cedarian spends an average of like $2 if im not wrong. but grace could easily buy more than that everyday. conclusion: that's a fake survey. =/

and we had home econs!! oh my we were getting all so excited-to eat the food that we cooked. it was curry chicken and prata!! i was having such a great time with class pet layeng and jessica!! =D oh my. i somehow cant imagine lab periods and cooking without them now. ): and here goes the i-dont-want-to-leave-2p topic again.

we were kinda idiotic at the start, and really. i was super lucky today. i was the only one who got the peeling skin thing for the potato thingy. (: and i gave it to layeng after that. and there was a few oil sputtering incidents that really got me freaked out. =/ amd jessica says that i look like i cook alot!! =DDD see! i really can alright. to think that day yeo ypng foong ha ticked me off for not being able to pull the cling foil thing. ):

AND. i really cook great pratas. (although it's those ready made ones.) and im going to cook it often. and i helped jessica and layeng cook 1!!!! =D im really proud of it though. (: and jeanette said that our chicken was TENDER. anyone drooling?? haha.

although all the incidents that happened today wasnt exactly THAT fun or what but i just felt PURE happiness. something that i though i've lost it forever. SO, im really happy. and lucky.

went out with tiffany ella and mok mok after school. FUN. FUN. FUN. we talked (gossiped) alot alot and we just had alot of fun together. they actually went 3rd lang at like. 5plus. cause NAUGHTY ella didnt want to go that early. haha. then in the end mok and tiffany convinced her to go. lol.

tuition was great. i spend one and half hour just plain talking to my teacher about the stream to choose.

speaking about streaming. im feeling stressed. not about the streaming, but about the jobs that might be affected if i choose what stream blahblah. maybe it's time i consider migrating - to NEVERLAND. x) maybe that way i'll never grow up, and i'll never leave all my friends. =/

shall stop that topic before all the teary eyes stuff starts coming up. (:

i silently pray to have this forever.

whoa. i just went out for a slight momment and so many things happened. =/

anw i went out and met cs to get the letter from wp. special delivery? haha thanks wp and cs. me and cs were like both on the phone so we didnt really talk much. then i met qi on the way back and he ran away from home i think. that's kinda scary. so i called cs and asked him to let qi go his house awhile or something.

i think fights are so scary. he kinda had scarrs at his neck where his brother strangled him. argh shant elaborate more.

we are now conferencing to discuss SOME matter. x)

it's been a long time since i've blogged, or rather cause i dont blog as frequently as before or something. so i've decided to come online since i've promise a few people. (:

hmm. i shall track back what i've been doing these few days. or rather today?

i cant really remember much, other than i know i had a random outburst of happiness in the car today. =/ but it all went back to normal-sian feeling, when i reached school.

i've been daydreaming about leaving cedar the whole day and i dont know why. ): i guess i must have been dreading school too much i guess.

but really AKJ is a super inspiring teacher somehow. and i tried VERY hard to keep myself awake today. though in the end i find myself yawning through the whole truely boring lesson. but history was GREAT. =D we had the whole lesson to "study".

alright i think the things that im blogging about is really boring these few days. i seriously think that there's something wrong with me. i just cant be like before i guess.

too many things have been happening already.

anw i've decided that i shall join this december's cosplay with tiara! =D all the stuff that she has said about the classical lollitha (i dont know how to spell, but it's some japanese fashion and victorian times cross breed - according to tiara). she says the main colours are gold and white, and i think it's going to look really pretty! i shall try finding pictures of the dress thingy, and im SUPER inspired to go with her. =DDD

but first things first. SAVE MONEY. i cant imgaine forking out more than a $100 for a dress that i cant wear out. =/ and some boots thingy. oh my.

sweetheart, please forgive us. you know how much we want you back.

THE MUSIC is called BHANGRA
THE COUNTRY is called BHANGLADESH
THE PEOPLE are called BHANGLADESHI in long and BHANGLAS in short (:

people. LEARN alright.

this stupid waiteng is trying to TEACH me how to call all these names cause she's currently working on her weird indian dance thing. and today we went to little india. and let me tell you my story of a lifetime.

I WAS SO EEEEERLACK WHEN I WENT TO THE MARKET. whatever eeeerlack means.

it's been such a long time since i went to a market and i actually saw so much disgusting stuff at the wet market i really wanted to puke. i cant stand those BLOODY scenes. and literally BLOODY. they were chopping up the parts of the animal which doesnt even look like an animal anymore - it was just a pool of blood with a few pieces of bone and chunks of meat in a big bag i wanted to puke. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN. I BET YOU'D BE PUKING WITH ME.

and lucky waiteng didnt see the whole grossed out scene. again. whatever grossed out means.

and we had a somehow expired cream fight in the car, and my handphone got MOISTURISED. it must be SUPER smooth by now. (:

btw im having slight rash on my left cheek, right where the place waiteng slapped a lump of cream on my face. it was supposed to be some goat made cream from new zealand, though waiteng claims that it looks like it's bought from little india.

SHE'S INFLUENCED.

whatever. some moron has been irritating me for. 21 hours. im dying. TWENTY ONE.

and it has ALSO been a very WHATEVER day for me. =/

alright MANY thinsg have again happened.

in just ONE day. =/

so back to the same old boring things that have happened in school, untill top period. we had to do the drama thing and we were supposed to do on high school musical. i thought it was super cool as i really loved that show though i missed their THOUSAND AND ONE replays on television. but truthfully im not exactly looking forward to it. i cant be the lead at all and i've always been one of those who strongly go against such stuff cause i really suck at this kind of thing. ):

and now im actually in it. being gabriella (whatever) or something. and melissa is troy!! and the funny thing is that the evil bimbo person is actually caroline (HAHA) and her partner is. (drum roll) PENELOPE. alright im not saying anything but it's like the whole world knows that they cant work well together.

but anw i only THINK that the other characters are those few people but something tells me i've remembered them all wrongly.

and anw i think me and waiteng will get back in touch with you people again really soon. we promise, and stop acting all so weird. =DDD

we'll be back!

and anw partly why i was being so moody was cause of the really bad quarrel with my parents. it was so bad that we were screaming, and caroline heard a part of it cause we were having audio conversation through msn and that idiot kept making weird sounds. haha. they said if im not going to tell them where im going they'll stalk me and i told them i'd kill myself if they ever did. hah. i know that sounded quite retarded but i cant stand people doing that, and on moday i was kind of preparing to die already. =/

but well. im not dying, as far as i know. everyone do pray for my parents to be smart enough not to stalk me. (:

today is such a mixed up feelings day. i dont even know what's going on with me. =/

i woke up in fright today when i dreamt that my brother died, and started my super uber long whining with merilyn in the car about how much im dreading school, but by the time i reached the class i kind of felt really happy and all that to see everyone again. =D

and so i started smiling like crazy and im SORRY people. if i had irritated you'll cause i think i kinda noticed myself asking LOADS of people if my hair's OK today. ): why doesnt anyone EVER noticed that i've cut my hair?! it's been TWO years already and no one still knows. you mean it's that NOT obvious? -pouts.

but anw thanks for putting up with my crap. hah.

and i broke my promise and my xinyi my tablepartner kept making me feel bad. cause i liked copied 2 questions of the maths homework..

OK I SHALL NOT ANYMORE ALRIGHT. ): sorry.

and after school i went out of school with tong tong and class pet. i got a lift out! x) though it's only till the bus stop. thanks tongtong! and then there i met wugui and her friend (i met ALOT of people today. JUST MY LUCK.) and then i came to j8 and met waiteng.

then we continued our super long talk again and now im at her house and she's rushing me to go out. but maybe i shall finish blogging first.somehow i cant be bothered to go out anymore.

i've always said that i live by the phrase "when god takes something from you, he gives you something". ( not a christian) that's why whenever im sad and everything i look forward to the next few days, and that keeps me from going on and looking forward to everyday life. but recently my life has been that bad. THAT bad that i start to wonder. that means that if im so happy today, very soon something bad is going to happen to me?

i start to wonder since when have i turned into such a pessimistic person and i cant stand myself. the long chat with waiteng had made me realised how superficial human beings can actually like. they just look at the surface of everything.

so what makes you think that you know me well? who are you to even comment on me and all that. i know the comments that i've heard so far are not anything bad, and normally to someone else they would be secretly happy to know. but why dont i? somehow, i'd rather choose happiness over that. how would i know if you're treating me as a real friend, or that you are just looking at the superficial side, or maybe even worse, just trying to make use of me? i guess it's because i've been thinking so much these days, i've been harsh to people. im sorry. i dont mean it.

im just tired. tired of all that you people say, tired of what you people want from me. tired for not being myself. tired of everything. really. how many people are your friend because they sincerely want to be with you? or are they just being like the whole lot that waiteng had told me about. superficial shit. im not an object.

oh well.

maybe i was just like seriously wrong about the whole thing.

things REALLY dont just end up with a "happily ever after".

gee. im seriously dumb i think.

im feeling a little happy now. compared to what i've been the past few days.

=D

i guess they've received my balloons and knew that it was me who sent them up.

let's start blogging from yesterday. and i suddenly realised it's been a long time since i talked about my "life".

so i woke up super early. 7.30 when my dearest chung chi shun woke me up. i was SO tired ok. and i called waiteng and woke her up too. and yes we were both VERY sleepy. hah.

nothing much went on in the nanyang thing, but it was good that at least tingshan was there. or else we will be SO bored and lost that we'll just die there. but can you imagine! we 3 retards actually bought $17 worth of plain old BALLOONS. and many burst when we were going out at people actually STOLE them when we went the CHS homecoming. i was so upset when i found out they were gone! i was supposed to send them up.

but at least i had 1 more left, the 1 which cs tied on his guitar.

the band performance was quite alright. tho me waiteng and jia spent most of our time just waiting for them to set up the equiptment and all. so basically, cut off the waiting and the hot sun which resulted in my second sunburn of my life, i enjoyed it somehow.

oh. and the cheap labour. we helped them to keep the equipments. =D we're such kind people. haha.

we then went to mos and ate and played the pirate toy. it was quite fun. and i had alot of stories that day, cause i was super inspired, BUT. no one was interested. ):

and someone spolied the toy!! and there's this dent and everything and we couldnt turn the machine thing inside. but cs and josh went and fixed it. (:

jia and kai then left us and we took a bus to marina there and did loads of crap and came home. DEAD TIRED.

and the worst thing is that.

my brother woke me at 7.30 AGAIN on a wonderful sunday morning. (i seriously think that im going to hate the time 7.30.) such a unlucky time.

the truth is out. so just shut up. and stop forcing me to go. (:
AND.
whoever was it that received my balloons. thanks for everything. =D

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